al Qaeda in C Major

Do real villains sing and dance? Did Ivan the Terrible waltz about his palace singing, "I'm the incredible, inconceivable, ideal...insane Ivan man!"

How about Santa Ana and his Mexican army? "We don't like, What we don't understand, In fact it scares us, And these gringos are mysterious at least, Bring your guns, Bring your knives, Save your children and your wives, We'll save our paiz and our lives, Matamos los Texanos!" Then they start spinning their bayonets like batons and kicking their legs in the air.

Nothing purges a villain of fear and respect like a well-choreographed dance.

And so I like to imagine al Qaeda, deep in their mountain lair, twirling around in perfect synchronization and singing, "What can you expect, From filthy little heathens? Their whole disgusting race is like a curse, Their skin's a hellish white, They're only good when dead, They're vermin, as I said, And worse, They're infidels! Infidels! Barely even human, Infidels! Infidels! Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me, Which means they must be evil, We must sound the drums of Jihad! Kill the infidels!"

Mark-Up

An art collector recently invested $19,000 in a painting that he believed to be a da Vinci. A fingerprint on the painting may prove him correct. If so, the $19,000 painting will be worth about $150 million.

Does it seem silly to anyone else that a painting is suddenly worth more because someone else painted it? Is it more beautiful now? More inspiring? Did da Vinci's aura settle upon the painting giving it magical powers?

It's strange to me that people judge a product by who makes it rather than how good it is. Imagine if Apple started making tighty-whities and called them iPants. They'd sell like hotcakes.

Arm Bar

People say that watching violence on TV makes you a violent person. Maybe so. But I think that being a violent person predisposes one to watch violence on TV.

I didn't put my wife in an arm bar tonight because I'd been watching MMA. I put my wife in an arm bar to make sure I could do it in case I was ever in an unpleasant situation.

Ironically, I wasn't in an unpleasant situation until after I'd put my wife in an arm bar.

Declaration of Virtual Independence

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one Blogger to dissolve the political bands which have connected him with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal--some more equal than others--and that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men. --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the Blogger to alter or abolish it, and to institute new Government in cyberspace, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

I, therefore, the Blogger Miles do solemnly publish and declare that this corner of cyberspace, Milestopia, is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent, and that it is Absolved from all Allegiance to the Obama Administration and any policies or practices pertaining to federal, state, or local government, popular American culture, or American business that shall be deemed as Stupid.

And in the process do make my profile picture portray me as being shredded.